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The SFHS Crier

The news site of St. Francis High School

The SFHS Crier

The news site of St. Francis High School

The SFHS Crier

Zombies are total hogwash

Zombies are complete and utter hogwash. Now this is said, I will admit they are fun to watch on television and such. For the people out there with their hopes high to try their hand at surviving a zombie apocalypse, I will say to them, “Go buy a video game, because it’s not going to happen.”

Zombies have appeared in popular culture since the early 1900s, and haven’t seemed to die out. If anything, I would say they have grown in popularity, and these undead “foes” seem to have people actually preparing for them to appear. Some scientists have even begun trying to see if it is actually possible for there to be living dead. While there have been possible explanations; I believe that most have to do with psychological misconceptions. The living dead can be fun to think about, but there is no possible way there can be a so-called “Zombie Apocalypse.”

Although, when one thinks of zombies it is mostly tied to Hollywood and as they are seen in the media, but zombies are often seen in folklore as well. Zombies appear very often in Haitian folklore and legends. According to the article “How Zombies Work,” written by Tracy Wilson on howstuffworks.com, the “bokor” in these Haitian stories are a type of sorcerer that brought people back from the dead. Now, most people don’t believe in sorcerers and such, but there are some who do so I will say that this was looked into scientifically as well. Apparently, these “bokor” used powders to conquer the border between life and death. Well, the human body is amazing is what I learned from the scientist looking into this, because the powders that were used actually put the body in a paralytic state that gives the appearance of death. The people that had the powder used on them would wake from their “death” and believe they were zombies, but these people really were not zombies just victims of an unwanted poisoning.

Now I’m sure some out there are saying, “that’s not how it would happen anyway,” or , “she has no clue what she’s talking about.” Well, here’s another piece of information I like to think about. The brain survives by sending electrical signals to the rest of the body, and brain cells are needed to keep a brain functioning well. When someone dies, most often all of the electrical signals and cells die along with the body. When a brain cell is lost it is pretty much impossible to recover, and each cell has a job, one being movement. The electrical signals are gone, and when a so called “virus,” some kind of weird radiation or parasite comes to reanimate a body they should come with extra brain cells and a set of jumper cables. Without those things, and probably not even then, there is no way that “Zombie” is coming back to life.

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The possibility of a single zombie, much less an apocalypse, is very low indeed, and is about as possible as witnessing in the wild a magical unicorn playing with a centaur (half man and half horse). So, when I listen to some fanatics planning how to defeat the “undead menace” I do get a little angry, because in all reality zombies are another fictional creature meant to scare and entertain people.

Again, I won’t deny that zombies are entertaining, but they are just not realistic. These living dead will most likely only remain on television, video games, movies, and other media outlets. All I can say is that zombies are complete and utter hogwash. They can never happen, because that is simply not how the world works. So, don’t fret, prepare or think about this so-called impending zombie apocalypse.

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